It is funny. Once you decide you are truly going to do whatever it is your heart desires, difficult questions need to be answered. What is it you truly want? Where do you want to go? What is it that will make you happy? The truth is, I don't know the answer to any of these questions. This walk has become a series of gut calls, one after another. Sometimes it is difficult not to question these decisions. I spend so much free time staring at a map of the United States. Scenarios spread through my mind like wildfire. I see a million possibilities right in front of me and I am reluctant to choose just one. I seem to have the idea in my head that all of these decisions are important and maybe that is a mistake. Wherever I end up maybe that says something about me. Most people I have met so far I have gotten into the routine of asking them where their favorite place is in hopes of guiding me. That is what originally led me to Asheville which currently sits atop my list of favorite cities visited during this go around. I am truly wandering. If somebody asked you right now where would you want to go if you could go anywhere, what would you say? I feel like it is one of those questions you had to have rehearsed answers in your head, but I really don't have the answer just yet. I am realizing more and more each day that there are so many beautiful places to go in this country but real experience comes down to who you do it with and who you meet along the way.I have been trying to make people a priority over the places I will eventually go. It is harder to put my head down and simply walk from destination to destination than it was for me two years ago. Two years ago I felt like I deserved to be alone and was willing to die all alone out on the road before giving up. Sometimes it is tougher to be alone when you know inside that you don't have to be.
In the last 11 days I have:
- bar hopped in Asheville and met new friends at each bar.
- got a ride from Asheville to Greensboro from one of these new friends
- unsuccessfully attempted to change a tire in the pouring rain
- Witnessed a grown woman who was driving the car accidently fart very loudly
- Accidently laughed too loudly
- asked a grown woman if she had in fact just farted
- both of us then laughed
- visited family in Greensboro
- accidently set off the alarm at my relatives house and the police had to come to the house
- slept in World's Fair Park in Knoxville
- walked beautiful country roads from knoxville to the most visited National Park in the U.S.
- Camped out in the Great Smoky Mountains
- saw a waterfall, and a snake, no bears
- realized trails are sometimes fun because I was no longer an outsider, just one of many walkers
- had some wine with new friends on one of these trails
- slept in the rain
- walked over 20 miles in 90 degree heat without any water
- jumped into a river
- watched as my neighbors at a KOA got arrested
- hitched a ride back into Knoxville
- Constantly thought about where I will go next
As of now I am going to be walking west towards Nashville, TN. It is just under 200 miles away so I figure I will be there in about a week.
Side Note (s)
Ive noticed now that I no longer have a sign that announces my intentions to the world, I receive a different response. It went from smiling intrigued faces asking me all about my experiences and where I started from to concerned faces asking if I need help.
I stayed at a motel in Knoxville. It was the worst, which is sort of great. For some reason the shittier the hotel the more I love it. The woman at the counter smiled when she saw my room number. "Oh room 26, I love that room. There is just something about it, like it has a woman's touch, you lucked out." Upon entering I walked through the double wide cracked glass doors. These things were a violent sneeze away from shattering. Passed a small plastic trash can filled with water that had leaked through the roof along with big chunks of the roof that had fallen as well. Upon entering the room I noticed my window was in a similar condition to the double doors out front. The ceiling was brown. I'm not sure what color it was supposed to be but i dont think it was brown. The shower wall was coated with dozens of long black hairs. It was great. Maybe I misunderstood, maybe it wasn't a woman's touch at all, maybe she meant a woman had been touched in room 26.
Walking east out of Knoxville I just assumed I could get a big jug of water at a convenient store on the way out. Early on it became clear that I was going through empty country. I walked and walked, hoping something would appear so I could just get a drink of water. Several people stopped and asked their new question. "do you need any help?" No I said. I always say no. It is just my first instinct. Each time after the good samaritan is gone I think, why didn't I ask for help. One old man I particularly remember stopping. I was about seven hours into my walk in the heat without any water. I was dying inside. I poked my head inside his passenger side window. I locked eyes on the tall glass of ice water he had in his cup holder. It was full to the brim. I could practically hear the crackling of the ice. I distinctly remember thinking how is it that this cup of water is so perfect? But once again I refused help. After about 24 miles and accepting the fact that I probably would have to wait until the next day to get a drink of water, a small convenience shop appeared around the bend. My body came back to life. It was called "Walland Market." I don't know if I was delirious of I was just so happy but I kept saying to myself out loud while I walked towards it "Oh Walland" and "Walland you son of a gun" over and over with grin that could not be put away.
I learned that "stop drop and roll does not work in hell" thanks to the fine people that place letters on the marquee at the methodist church near Walland, TN.