Last Wednesday morning at 9 am I boarded my first cross country train ever. It felt like any other train I had ever boarded, yet I knew I needed to reach comfort on this one. I had yet to actually sleep on a bus or a train in my life. I was scheduled to be on this train for 3 days so something had to give. I sat down and noticed the extra leg room. "nice" I said to myself. Soon after a woman was instructed to sit next to me. I would never or sleep or get comfortable now. After about an hour I decided to walk around the train. I discovered the Sightseer car. It was beautiful. An extra car for passengers to roam. Seats that swung towards the extra windows that coated the walls in all directions. I spent over 80% of my 3 days in this car despite the conductor announcing that it was paramount that passengers move on to give others a chance. I was addicted to the wide windows changing from the bay to the snowy mountains to the desert to the flat lands of Nebraska to the "rollie pollie" hills of northern NY.
I set out on yet another journey not only to experience more places, but to let more people back into my life. In a comfortable life I continue to shut off against the people in my life. I have a clear picture of the person I want to be in social situations and I am simply not there yet. I am determined to change that for good, not just something that changes and then changes back.
The train stopped in Denver . There wasn't enough time for me to get out and see the city. Many tired travelers walked into the station only to be replaced with new, more enthusiastic travelers. One of which was assigned to sit next to me. I hadn't slept to that point. (about 40 hours) I let my new seat mate that I spend most of my time in the sightseer car, and so I did. I sat and talked to a woman from Denmark. She was on a 2 day "holiday" visiting the states. From San Diego to San Francisco and back to New York. She explained how her last year had been very difficult on her. She had been diagnosed with Cancer and separated from her husband. We talked until night fell and she returned to her seat to try and sleep. At this point I realized I only had to wait until 4 am at which point we would stop in Lincoln, NE. My seat mates stop! I could just wait and sleep then! I knew there was no chance before then as I had walked by our seat several times on the way to the bathroom and had seen her sprawled out across both seats. and so I sat. It was sort of peaceful to be on a train and be so alone, yet not fulfilling enough for the entire idea of this trip, to connect with others. I wasn't quite alone though. Four Mormon women flanked a table on the other end playing what seemed to be the greatest card game ever invented based on their laughter and grins that overshadowed their bonnets. Two men made their way towards me. I had seen them intermittently throughout the ride. They came and sat down next to me. Immediately we all clicked. We sat and joked into the Nebraska darkness. We passed the hours talking about our lives while one played his harmonica. There is something about a harmonica and traveling that make you feel right at home no matter where you are. I was the last one standing in the sightseer car at 4am in Lincoln, NE.
I had a 6 hour break in Chicago, and boy did I take advantage. Me and the harmonica man decided to team up and experience the city since we were boarding the same train to New York. I call him the harmonica man because we never actually got each others names. We walked through the skyscrapers, passed on the $15 cigarettes at 7-11 and made our way to the shiny bean. Overwhelmed by the people we looked out at Lake Michigan and decided we needed to experience Chicago's most famous pasttimes in a few short hours. We decided on deep dish pizza, beer and blues. So we headed into Giardano's and had some absolutely outstanding pizza. As we sat and chatted, gulping beer (2nd checklist item) we decided that the only other thing Chicago was famous for was murder. Simultaniously we suggested that we murder somebody after the beer. Immediately we gave each other a high five. He looked at me and said "thanks for hangin out with me." I was kind of uncomfortable that he said this because I always think things like this. Like I am not somebody worth hanging out with. I would have shared my heartfelt thoughts. That was until he reached his arms out prepping himself to give me another high five. ( he was a little heavy on the high fives if you ask me) and he knocked over the waitress' tray holding our next round of beers.
After the beers flowed he the conversation turned deeper as it always does. I explained that head injuries have played a huge part in my life and the decision to walk last time and probably even this time. Before I could explain the seriousness of it all he picked up his story about how his concussion left him depressed. Two years prior he had attempted suicide. He held a gun to his chest, only at the last second he thought better. He moved and shot himself in the liver. It is so tragic but I totally understand what it feels like to get to that point and everything that led him to that point. He still has a bullet in his liver. We decided not to murder anybody after that. He pulled out his harmonica and teamed up with a street corner sax player. We did what we wanted in Chi Town.
I'm staying in a hostel in Brooklyn. Sharing a room with a man from Zimbabwe. The lounge is located next door with pool and ping pong tables. Last night it was flooded with young foreign students. I sat and didn't talk then went to my room. Tonight I charged back in hoping to be more social and embrace the experience. I had visions of challenging, borderline threatening a young German boy to a game of ping pong. Taking advantage of his lack of a backhand shot and becoming an overnight sensation. I walked in about an hour ago and not a soul was around. I am currently alone, typing this on the ping pong table. Although they left a full pizza with a "free pizza" sign so it wasn't a total loss. I guess through the stories I've heard, I have learned my problems are nothing. In the end I'll probably still get free pizza.
"I woulda kicked that guys ass though" - me walking into an empty lounge
Side Notes
- walked about 15 miles around Manhattan and Brooklyn today
- I feel the urge to be in rollerblades tomorrow
- On my walk home I received 3 e-mails from independent baseball teams wanting me to tryout for their baseball teams
- I no longer play baseball and I'm fine with that
- I already am out of clean clothes and smell
-beginning stages of beard growth itch
- I have so much more to write but I have so much more to experience.
- Many more pics on Facebook and Instagram
- You can donate throught the homepage if you want.
- Need to find an extra pocket for change to fund vending machine treats across America.
- First post back on the road. I'll get better.