Wendover, NV
I am taking an extra day or 2 to get back to full health before continuing the walk. I have not made any geographical progress in the last 2 weeks but I have learned some more valuable lessons. I spent the last couple days traveling from Tahoe to Sacramento to Reno and then back to Wendover where I left off. Even though I know my body needs the rest the longer I wait the remaining 600 seem more daunting. It is a stupid thought because I know that will go away once I continue my forward progress. I said goodbye to my family for the next month in Sacramento. Just being alone again was enough to put a smile on my face, I felt at home once again. Walking down the street, looking for some food low in fat which is my new diet thanks to my pancreas. I realized why I don’t really like big cities anymore. The air feels stagnant. I could feel the eyes surrounding me. The noise of the street is amplified, intruding into my peace. Just to walk, alone again was a comfort to me.
The most recent Greyhound ride was not totally awful. At one point the entire bus shook and veered off the road. From the looks of it the back tire had exploded. After a 2 hour delay it was back to the standard uncomfortable as hell ride back to Wendover. I arrived back at 4 am. Still no sleep under my belt. It is a strange experience to just hang out around a small town waiting for a motel to let me check in. A lot of emotions came over me in that time. I was greeted by the rising sun surrounded by orange clouds like I had never seen. Once the bright clouds cleared and the sun rose overhead I saw the same old town of Wendover. It looked the same. I felt different in it. I felt like I had gone back in time, but I didn’t belong anymore. I felt in such bad shape. Needing sleep now. I am a different person than I was 2 weeks ago since I was last here. I had learned from my most recent hospital stay. The scars of my past manifested themselves in the residue of bandages and tape still on my arm. The lingering pain in my gut outweighing the dwindling confidence I was trying to regain. I realized there is simply no more time to think. I must walk. Everything else will take care of itself.
Wells, NV
Getting back on the road has presented quite the challenge. My body is just simply weaker than when I left off. My 60 mile 2 day walk to Wells turned into a 3 day trek. An extremely challenging one at that. Nothing flows. My feet, my breath, my progress, all out of sync. I felt like I had to tweak the way my feet hit ground constantly to keep my legs moving. This causes a problem mentally. When you have to think about each step, your progress slows and you grow impatient. I walked 35 miles in the first 2 days and was exhausted at the end. Just to put that into perspective, the last day I walked in Utah I went 43 miles. Both of these nights were spent in tunnels underneath Interstate 80.
I thought I could build myself back up today a little bit. Wells was 25 miles away from me. I climbed 2 mountain passes along the way. Around 12 miles in my legs began to feel numb and my headache grew stronger as I walked. My body was sore, aching. Even more than when I began this walk months ago. I needed to get stronger. 12 miles to go. Since this walk took a day longer than anticipated, I had to take my last sip of water with a few hours to go. SO thirsty during this stretch. In those last few hours I probably stopped 10 times just to lay down for a moment. Everything inside me wanted me to stop. I could now see the sign for the truck stop. This sign appeared to never get closer. Once I arrived feeling like my lower body was no longer a part of me. I filled my bottle with water and sat down. I remember pain throbbing from my feet, to my calves, to my hips. The instant chugging of water now gave me a stomach ache. I closed my eyes. A few minutes must have passed. I finally looked up. Covered in flies and met with eyeballs throughout the room. The pain had subsided. I seem to constantly put myself in these situations. Sometimes I feel like the only way I can get through it is to tell myself that I deserve the suffering sometimes.
Side Note (s)
While in Tahoe I was in a car more often than I am used to. I realized that when the conversation slows it is a natural reaction to just start reading aloud. In silence each person seems to just read every restaurant/ business sign they see.
(silence)……… “Village Pizza”…………..”Subway”……… “Dick’s Sporting Goods”……(someone chimes in with a joke)…….(conversation begins again)
After getting out of the hospital I was thinking about the interactions I had with the nurses. I was thinking about how much it must take out of a person to ask another if they have had a recent bowel movement. The nurses ask this so casually and often. Then they follow it up with adjectives with a question mark following. So they can clearly visualize and understand this bowel movement. This is always done with a straight face. I don’t believe I will ever get used to that line of questioning.
"was it soft"?
On my final night stay in the hospital last week the amount of fluids and painkillers being pumped into my body finally took their toll. I woke up and I had pissed the bed. I didn’t have the heart to come forward. I got a new blanket and luckily I got out that day.