Park City, UT

Alright I arrived in Park City, UT about an hour ago. I found a library here and wanted to tell you about my experience yesterday crossing into Utah. It was a strange day, very challenging.

For some reason I feel like throughout my life I tend to make things more difficult on myself, for no real reason at all. Yesterday was an example of that. After my last post I took the majority of the day off and hung out in Evanston. Once night fell I was overcome with excitement and the promise of yet another new state. I could not sleep. I found a potential grassy spot to set up my tent, but I knew sprinklers would hit me at some point throughout the night. I ended up at the Flying J chatting with the lone Subway employee and walking around in my socks. I convinced myself that it was reasonable to head back out onto the Interstate around 4 am with no sleep, cross into Utah and maybe catch a nap in the afternoon sometime.

As I walked onto the interstate so many reasons ran through my head as to why I shouldn't be doing this. Walking the Interstate at night. My feet hurt so bad but my adrenaline blocked out the pain, at least in that moment. I have always enjoyed the night. There is something about it. I feel alone, but powerful, like I am watching out while everyone sleeps. I turned on my headlamp at the sight of headlights in the distance. Very few cars passed. It was dark. I just needed it to get light to feel safe out here. It eventually did. Draining all of the false excitement and energy I thought I had. I felt like I just had to mentally remove my eyeballs from my body. That is all that was tired. I became a walking zombie, now very aware of the pain in my feet. When I finally stopped and took a look at them there were a few rocks embedded in the bottom of my foot. I tried to dig them out. I wonder what people thought when they saw a man on the shoulder of the interstate digging into his foor with a pair of scissors that he may or may not have found on that very road. When it was all said and done I am left with a huge chunk of skin gone. From this point on I felt like I was walking on two bruised nubs. Very eager nubs.

I found a spot around 10 am under the road that provided enough shade to accomadate a nap. Not sure if I was sleeping or just zoned out I looked up at the road only to see a friend of mine who had been driving back to California and spotted my cart. I spoke to them for a few minutes, so dazed. Not really sure if it was happening in the moment. It is a strange feeling now to see someone I knew before this trip. It feels like everything and everyone from before this was when I was a different person. How could I be recognized in this life?

This confusion gave me a bit more energy, I would have to tough it out. A few hours went by and then another wall hit me. I tried to camp along the road but ended up just laying down in a pool of my own sweat. I could feel the sun more than ever before. I had to just keep going.

Limping down the road I finally reached a shaded area 33 miles from the Flying J I was so eager to leave. I finally collapsed in this shade ironically thinking about how nice it would be if some sprinklers came on and sprayed me.

I made things very difficult on myself that day, but the thrill of still getting to where I wanted to despite everything was truly amazing. I felt so strong in that moment. I cannot believe I didn't quit. I cannot believe I felt the need to get to that spot that day. Mentally this was probably the toughest day I have experienced out on the road. I know things will get easier but I also know I am more capable than I ever thought.

Anyways that was yesterday. Roughly 150 miles until Nevada.