Day 80 on the road. I am in Norton, KS at the public Library. There is good chance I am stuck here until at least Sunday due to another storm. This morning I wanted so badly to push on. The next town is Oberlin, 34 miles away. This means a decision to keep walking through the storms means rain falling on me for about 11 hours. Once I leave town there is no escaping it for 34 miles. I probably would continue too. That is, if I didn’t learn my lesson crossing the Georgia- Alabama border 61 days ago. One of the many things I have learned thus far, “stay dry whenever you can.”
On the morning of the 21st, my 25th birthday I realized something. I no longer sit up at night while my mind races. That had become sort of a ritual of mine. I would lay in bed only to be there with my thoughts and no sleep. Hours would pass before I could fall asleep. This would happen every night. It would get way too late and I would stay awake, being way too honest with myself. This was really the only time I would use my brain. This is not a problem for me anymore. It is definitely not because I am more comfortable. I sleep on the ground most nights. I now use my brain throughout the day. I think about everything. I talk to people. I solve problems with actions. I am now in control.
I want to thank everyone for all of the birthday wishes yesterday. It means a lot to me to have so much support around me. I walked 33 miles on my birthday. Walking across blank spaces for hours. Sunny skies the entire way. I arrived In Norton around 8pm. My entire life birthdays have not been a big deal to me. It was just another day. It was usually a day where I would see my family and friends. I see now that events like this are a big deal because it is another day to be with the ones close to you. Sitting on a park bench in Norton, KS on my 25th birthday. The night had set in. I didn’t realize it until now what a big deal it was. My emotions hit me all at once. I was alone. I felt this more than ever on night 79. I never would have guessed a year ago that I would be here. Spending my birthday in a small Kansas town sleeping on the ground. I remember a year ago, on my 24th birthday telling my dad I needed to accomplish something again that I cared about. I didn’t know what I wanted for myself. All I knew was that I felt empty. Another year had passed and once again nothing I could look back and be proud of. I don’t know what all of this means, but I’m not where I was. I don’t know what will come of this. I know that I’m out here. Doing what I told myself I could do, and that means something to me.
I guess this speaks to how naïve I was when I started this walk, but rain never entered my mind. Coming from a place where it seemingly never rains, I didn’t expect it. I hate that I am stuck here longer than I want to be. I don’t like being forced into decisions. I like to be free to do whatever I want. I would say it has rained at least 35 of the 80 days I have been on the road. The comfort I get from walking makes me feel at home. It is not found looking through the window of yet another cheap motel. That is not why I am here. That is not why I began this walk. I belong on the road for now.
Side Note (s)
This year’s birthday dinner consisted of gas station nachos and a Mountain Dew. I really need to start testing the cheese machines before making my decision. I keep getting stuck with the end of the cheese bag. Once the chips are out of the bag and the first cheese pump is made, it’s too late. You now own these nachos. At this point, you are forced to treat the cheese button as if it were a pinball lever. You pump and pump and pump. About 85 pumps later, I have some respectable nachos. I earned those birthday nachos.
I have read that people who take long thru-hikes say that they get into the best shape of their lives along the way. I do not feel this way. I am down about 20 lbs., but I am not in great shape. I don’t know if these people were just not in very good shape before starting. I ran .5 miles the other day to a gas station because it was raining. I was breathing heavily and my calf cramped up. I then began laughing like an insane person out loud at just how pathetic that display was. I am in good walking shape, but that is about it.
I was able to fix my flat tire. I am now glad I got an extra tube because this morning I found the other tire is now flat. Looking forward to clearer skies and a new state. Also for the rain to stop following me. I changed my route a bit to head north in Saint Francis, KS just before Colorado. This was I will actually be going through towns. This will take me through the southwest corner of Nebraska and into Colorado. Saint Francis is 103 miles away.