Knob Noster, MO

I’ve walked about 53 miles the past two days. I will probably do another 30 or so today. I woke up and was no longer tired around 4 am so I got going early with my headlamp beaming. At this point whenever I see a McDonald’s sign with those big yellow arches, I see it upside down. I see a giant “W” meaning, Wi-Fi. I have found that every McDonald’s has always houses a gang of old men around 5am. They always see me walking up. Concerned that I may try to enter their “clubhouse” they spread out. Two pain filled eyeballs man each window. Most of the time I just smile and walk by, but today I entered. I feel like it’s my first day at a new school. Sitting alone overhearing an occasional racial slur. This is my morning so far.

The stretches of land without many trees has continued making it once again a little trickier to find a spot to rest at night. The last two nights have been a little tougher to fall asleep. Last night I didn’t even set my tent up, just my pad and sleeping bag. I was hidden being a country mattress store, and no, none of the mattresses around me were intact. The previous night I was off the 50 in some bushes between two houses. In situations where I am not completely comfortable with my surroundings, I lay alert. Both houses had several dogs. These dogs barked long into the night. I thought, are they barking at me? I had been silent. How could they know I’m here? I laid there with my neck turning my head both ways half expecting to be surrounded by an angry pack of dogs, but they never came. My life continues, once again.

Taking a break the other day, I sat at a beautiful roadside park in Tipton. Surrounded by big brick buildings. The grass, freshly mowed putting off that scent I love so much. I sat there thinking money wouldn’t be an issue for me walking to the other coast, neither would the weather, my supplies, and the will inside of me. No excuses. Everything I can control will not be a problem for me, because I won’t let it. I have so much less to prove to myself now, as I did when I started 55 days ago. I was no longer conflicted. Almost bored. I thought maybe this is what life is supposed to be like. I can now see how life is only what you make of it. I used to tell everyone when the conversation would come up about dying, that I did not want to live very long. I could never imagine being old, but I also just didn’t see what was just so special about this life. I guess subconsciously I assumed that living longer meant more years of my life at the time, where things did not get better and anything I wanted was always just out of reach. I no longer feel that way. I think I would like to stick around a little longer. I want to live forever.

I am anticipating arriving in Kansas City on Friday. Where I will not walk for at least a few days.

I am almost through “The Long Walk” by Stephen King, how fitting right. Anybody else read that?