On day 27 I crossed into Mississippi 2 days later I entered Tennessee. It is day 31 I have gone over 700 miles and I am in Jackson, TN where a violent downpour is currently happening outside. Luckily I am indoors tonight. I’m sitting here at The Executive Inn trying to make the executive decision of whether or not to get a new cart. Today in addition to the wheel issues I have endured, the push handle of my cart snapped completely off. It was strange, I wasn’t upset at all. I almost expected it. Things have been going too well for me and once again I’ll figure something out. All I need is forward progress. I’ll get to the west coast at some point and I don’t have to get there today.
Mississippi was the first state that had one of those neat “welcome to our state” signs. The grass was so green everywhere around me, it was beautiful. That is probably due to the thunderstorms that continue to roll through. I spent two nights in Mississippi camped out. The 2nd night I was behind a Lowe’s. There the rain came in fast and hard. My tent cover help up pretty well despite the circumstances. It is strange being in such a small tent feeling the vibration of the constant rainfall and thunder lighting up the tent every 10 seconds or so. The rain has a way of making you feel more alone than you already are.
Heading into Tennessee on the 45 I stopped to restock at a Walmart. An older employee there told me it was 3200 miles from Jackson, TN to San Francisco, CA. Knowing he was completely wrong I still couldn’t help but feel discouraged as he said this along with a sarcastic “good luck.” I hate to say this, but I hated that man.
Discovering that rain was expected once again the next night, I found a place to stay through couchsurfing in Selmer, TN about 15 miles after crossing the Tennessee border. I stayed with Sara and Susanna who had a house there. They cooked me dinner and we just sat and talked for hours until nearly 2am. It became very clear that we were very different despite being around the same age. It opened my eyes to how everyone is a product of their environment. We had grown up in two completely different settings. They both from a small town, being homeschooled and not watching TV. The town they lived in “the village” as they called it was described by them as the town in “Footloose.” We were hard pressed to even find music that we had both even heard of. It was so interesting to see how differently we viewed things growing up in such different places. All of that aside we couldn’t have gotten along any better. It is awesome to see and understand that everything you know that you would think to be normal can be completely shattered. It changes how you think and makes you appreciate the fact that there are so many ways to view the same thing.
The next day I headed up the 45 towards Henderson, TN throughout my morning a few people had stopped and asked me if I needed a ride. I explained that I needed to walk as the rain poured on and off. I took a break off to the side of the road as another car pulled up. As I turned to them I realized that in the car were my Aunt Lori and her boyfriend Bill. I was shocked. They were headed to North Carolina and tracked me down on my GPS through my Life 360 app. They took me to the nearest town and bought me lunch as we caught up. It almost felt forbidden. Like they had entered into this whole new world I had built for myself. I felt like I only knew them from a past life. I felt like two separate worlds were colliding to form this completely unnatural experience. They gave a care package that was sent from my parents. It consisted of all kinds of snacks containing protein as an attempt to get me to gain some of my weight back. I went on my way as Lori and Bill got back into their car and headed towards Nashville. Still in disbelief, I couldn’t help but feel guilty. What did I do to deserve this? To feel so loved, unconditionally. It was great to see them and this gesture speaks to the strength of my family. It is a scary thing to feel like you don’t deserve any of it. I still don’t feel like I deserve anything. This is a part of why I decided to start this walk. I wanted to feel accomplished and confident about myself. I’m moving forward, but I’m definitely not there yet. I have learned in these past 30 days that staying positive helps in accomplishing what I want to. Things can change in an instant weather it be the road, cart, weather, or a negative old man at Wal Mart. Anytime things go wrong, and they do all the time. I have to say 3 things that are going well for me in that moment. After that things aren’t so bad, I realize that things could be so much worse.
Side note
My battle with dogs has continued into my 5th state. A dog appeared out of nowhere on Hwy 45 running alongside my cart. It scared the hell out of me. I screamed in fear louder than I ever have in my life. Then began giggling uncontrollably at how irrational my fear of dogs has become.